Bandannas are Welcome

it's been a long time...

Sat, 05 May 2007 16:54:43 GMT

Well, its been quite a while since i've written in this journal. I guess after the post beforehand i lost all taste for this thing. But yesterday I had a day worth writing about.

Originally, my girlfriend and her very close friend Tonya were going to watch hot fuzz, (which is a great comedy) while i was going to watch Spiderman 3 with Carlos. I never get to hang out with the guy, and i originally wanted to hang out with him, but there were so many others that i knew of who wanted to see Spiderman 3. Tanya boyfriend Justin wanted to see it, as well as Robert. The biggest problem however was that by the minute auditoriums were closing. So Melissa and I started the day's rat race by first finding a theater that had an available Spiderman 3 and Hot Fuzz at near similar times. We found this in two places: Sunset Place and Dolphin Mall. Well, I made the calls and everyone was up for a 7:30 movie start. Im sitting in front of the dreaded Fandango site, fricking trashbags, and i order 4 tickets. But the error message appears when the auditorium had sold out. While everyone was trying to figure things out, time passed by and we lost the seating. So, now the closest seating was 6:05 or 10:00. But aside from me, the whole party did not have the energy to sit up at that time. Their work would be hectic the next day. So it was 6:05 then.

Well, I buy the tickets fast because i dont want to lose this auditorium as well. At the last second, the ladies change their mind and want to see Spiderman 3 as well, so i end up purchasing 6 tickets. I have to call and inform everyone, so the first one is Carlos. He doesnt answer. Next is Robert. I tell him the news, and he informs me that he wouldnt even be near his car at 6:30. It sucks that he wouldnt make it, but i tried really goddamn hard to include him. I inform the ladies, and my job should be done. Carlos gets in contact with me to give me some bad news. He would be leaving at the last second because his mom and sister stuffed him with some last second chores. Likewise, after i picked Meli up, traffic was so horrible that when we got to my house, we knew we were screwed.

We had to pick up the rest of the party down south and then book it to Dolphin Mall in the opposite direction. I pride myself in being a good driver... I had to drive liek the worlds biggest ass just to get there a few minutes late. On the way, Carlos' car wouldntt turn on at all. watching Spiderman 3 started a year ago with me and Carlos, and it mushroomed to a hopeful 6 last night. And he wouldn't be showing up either. So the 6 drops to 4. As we arrived, we received an angry call from Robert. He felt left out, and I understand his position, but I had to consider every single person, not just him. He wanted to know why we had to go to dolphin and not somewhere closer. We had to go back when we were considering Hot fuzz. It was at the last second that the tickets were purchased. Even so, no theater closer to us had any Spiderman 3 seatings open that would fit Meli, Tanya, and Justin. This was a group thing. Heck, Carlos couldnt come, because, if we had stopped to pick him up, we would have missed about half an hour to an hour, seeing as how getting off into traffic, and then getting back on would have been a bitch. And the parking would have killed us even more than it did last night. I know he felt backstabbed, but my intentions werent such. I bought his ticket in advance. In the end, the only person who could be flexible was me. In in ideal world, if everyone didnt have work the next day, all 6 of us would have seen it at 10. So he may feel that what was done was very inconsiderate, but i had to consider everyone.

The ladies went for the food, while Justin and I took the seats. We managed to arrive in time for the last two trailers, and the movie resumed soon after.

First off, Id like to say this is my opinion of Spiderman, and although someone will find me wrong and tell me my opinion is faulty, this is just my opinion on a film, not a visual story. When i go to watch a movie, the story is not what defines it. A novice writer can write a great storyline due to its arch and climaxes, but it doesnt necessarily state it was a work of art. When reading an amazing book, sometimes you find yourself hearing two voices: the concrete voice of the story which denotes the actions and consequences leading you to a riveting end, and the voice of the author who should be trying his best to enrich it silently. The same is true with movies. Generally, when we go to see movies, we look for a story to judge if the movie was good or not, but theres a great difference in delivery of more than just the story between someone such as Scorcese and Uwe Boll. Imagine stating something as illustrious as any movie by Kurosawa (for argument, Sanjuro) was just as good as Alone in the Dark by Uwe Boll or Blood Rain. Sometimes, you'll find people who like a movie regardless of how horrible it is because the story was compelling. In these cases, the story writers, screen writers etc should be congratulated, and this should be a book... not a movie. The most painful thing in film is to see your most cherished story horribly redone to motion picture.

When you watch a film (not a movie), you could almost hear the work speaking to you, as if to tell you something lost in the picture. It may just be a joke, or it may be a hint. Nonetheless, these things are what truly make up the design of a movie. If it was about the story, one could say that, with an amazing script, Uwe Boll would make the best film ever, but its just not true. I am one of the biggest fans of Spiderman, and just delivering the story I love doesnt make the movie great... it makes the story as great as its always been. I wont accept that the directors behind the second fast and the furious could make spiderman more enjoyable than raimi has already, and therefore, i wont accept an amazing story when coming to watch an amazing film. Story is just one variable in the whole function. Ive waited for these movies since i was a child, and so I would naturally be biased to the story, but thats not what defines a movie. If so, there would be no need for film, we would just have sliding pictures, not motion picture. When the director caters to the viewer, and when he wishes to give the viewer his all, thats when a movie is a film. Thats when its spectacular. Thats when its worth while. And Raimi did just that.

Right off the bat, Sam Raimi did some very casual as well as jokeful references to Green Goblin with a green lit bridge (Manhattan? not an NY buff...) which formed his eyes. Directly afterwards, Venom became a part of the film, with so many techniques that Raimi developed from Evil Dead Darkman. The symbiote attempted to touch him just like the monster lurking in the shadows. It was very iconic, and quite entertaining. Nothing like memories of Evil Dead and Darkman in a very subtle fashion...

To be honest, Raimi returned to his more slapstick fashion in this movie. And although symbiote controlled spiderman appears lightly in the movie, it was about as much as it did in the comics and tv show. Instead of showing a change in the character Peter Parker, he juxtaposed the two extremes, which although original, catered to the story. Along with this, he used everything established in the earlier films as much as he could, returning a comfortable mood that everyone has experienced, instead of alienating the movie as the third piece.

He poked comedy at the retained emotional nature of Peter Parker, giving him the personality of all the extremes of our generation in one short man with a black skin tight soon on under his flashy clothing. To be honest, regular Peter Parker does not fall into any stereotype, in reference to the movies. Sure, in 1, he might have been considered a nerd, but after the transformation, that slips a way as well. I believe the crew and production saw to reverse this with the symbiote, mirroring his original nature with the amalgamation of all extremes within him at one time. It was hilarious. Aside from emo, he was chauvinist as well as having the mother of all superiority complexes. It must have hurt emo kids, when he brushed his hair to the side and was now... emo.

All the way to the end, the action scenes weren't exaggerated to the extents of normal hollywood, yet were lavish in detail and progression. In other words, the amazing scenes had a point other than to wow you with explosions. There was movement in the scenes, leading to a goal, and that goal was not eye candy. In the end, before I ramble any more, the movie was rich, in every category the movie took a part of. Many thought the movie was ok because they didn't like the cheesiness of the heroism towards the end. But this was supposed to be the ultimate fall of spiderman. You've had a mental fall in 2, and 3 was the emotional fall. As for physical, in any movie, the hero is always weaker than the opponent, thus completing the flaws of Spiderman. It was nicely done and very subtle. I found it refreshing and entertaining. As for Venom, he did about everything he did in the comic books and show. He never used his tongue as a weapon, aside from the games for console, so I was not bothered to see him not use it in the Movie. Many missed it, but to be honest, Venom only had it hang out so he could speak and act like a reptile. I highly doubt that fans would not find it cheesy if he licked a man to death... exactly.

After the movie, there was a guy dressed up in a rather nice spiderman suit. He was shaking kids hands and other things. It was funny, worth a smirk. good man... the rest of the night was entertaining, but to be honest, this post was really about spiderman 3. I'll be rewatching this movie with whoever would like to watch it soon.

I really hope it was worth it...

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 22:03:13 GMT

Well, I guess today will be my first livejournal-like entry, where I talk about my own life, and an issue that recently surfaced. Im not trying to make fun of any LJ subscriber, im just finally doing it for myself. id like to apologize in advance for all the spellign errors, and if i do get too personal and do nto stay as objective as i should, to the reader, i am sorry. in advance, a name was changed an dplaced in quotes for identity, whereas another name was never released out of privacy.

Im going to write this as honestly and truthfully and respectfully as I possibly could, and to the recipient whom this is about, this is the truth. No more of the plot twists. Quit it.

In 9th Grade, at Miami Southridge Senior High School, I was taking geometry with Ms. Nussbaum, when I met a friend, along with an annoying person I befriended, who would turn out to be a great guy. The annoying guy was Jason Batista. Today I don’t talk to him as much as I’d like to because he’s busy being a badass (gets paid 60 grand a year to play Halo), which I’m completely fine with, and I wish even greater accomplishment in his Cuban- Puerto Rican future. The other friend was Andres Cerrato. The most memorable characteristic of Andres was his flaming eyebrows, like those seen on that slut in Gundam Wing (cant remember her name)… the eyebrows that run like normal but split into two pieces at the corners of the face by 90 degree angles, creating a sideways y out of each eye brow. Most people kept their distance from him, for they thought he was a geek, a nerd, and a freak. We’re all geeks somehow, so I’ll give them that, but generally speaking, unless you were a chubby anime girl, if you watched giants robots kicking giant robots around, you were a freak at the ridge. I wouldn’t say Andres was a freak back then, although he had some characteristics that could make you distance yourself if you misunderstood the actions.

On the day that he ran for class president, Andres freaked out when he lost. I wasn’t cruel, but to be honest, there was no chance any of the shallow people at the ridge would vote for a nobody who liked things that were Japanese. Well, needless to say, he went into a freakishly over dramatic temper, and he stormed into geometry class early. I was there because I would go straight to class from class, because i didn’t have a life enough to stop and talk to anyone in the halls (wasn’t cool then lol never was). Well, Andres walked in at full speed, his eyes almost bloodshot and ready to cry. He hovered around his seat, and then he slammed his fists into the chair after what can only be understood as a dragonball-like power up. Ms. Nussbaum ridiculed him, and the rest of the class was silent, and within moments, people began to faintly laugh, but Andres was serious. He truly believed he had a chance, and I was no one to tell him otherwise. At that time, I wasn’t friend enough to be honest to him.

But there was other shit that made him different. He always did gundam-esque battle poses in public, acting out a slash scene everytime someone he didn’t like passed him in a hall or corridor. At first I thought it was weird, but wtf, everyones got their quirks. Got used to it, and just accepted it as Andres.

One time carlos, my oldest friend, was convinced by me to lend out gundam battle assault, a psx gundam versus arcade game, to Andres. Carlos was not fond of him as a good friend, but they were always at least good acquaintances. Carlos has this ability to be tolerant to everyone at all times, and didn’t care for idiosyncracies within anyone, much of the reason why we are best friends, and hwy everyone sees him as a great guy which he is. Anyways, Andres broke the disc. Shit happens, it could have been anything. Carlos said nothing, didn’t make Andres feel uncomfy by asking for payback for it. Not that Andres would offer it, but shit he had nothing to offer. We were all broke.

We stayed friends throughout all of high school, and as I got my car, we started eating shit together. We drove here and there, did this and that to pass boredom. Around the early part of our friendship, I had been looking for a great online rpg to play. I came across operation meteor before, but I passed it off as a waste of time. Andres reintroduced me to it, and I managed to join. Andres was a respected player, I guess you could say, although almost everyone hated him. There was many suspicions of people cheating, and Andres was one of them. In one instance, I ordered a huge purchase, and it would prove to be too complicated, and Andres was always lazy for that stuff, so he gave me what I purchased, and never subtracted a dime. I guess you could say that I cheated by proxy there, but I asked him to change it. Before I could ever use any of it, the site closed, and so the cheating was for nothing, and I’m thankful for that.

Offline, we got even closer as friends, in which he told me I was his best friend. I gave him rides wherever I could, because between him and Carlos, they were my only trusted friends at the time of such age. That’s when the Gundam online community moved to new century run by the Janadian. The site was fun, and I started out under Andres, because I knew no one there, and it wasn’t exactly easy to rise up unless you were one of the first few, an inner flaw within New Century that wasn’t NG’s fault to begin with. We developed a guild by today’s mmo vocabulary, which was called the Spartans. I pretty much came up with the whole thing, but Andres was the leader. It was at this point, that our friendship began to fall out, although it was not obvious to any of us. You see, Andres didn’t see it as a guild, as he officially said to me. Everyone whom he did not know personally was a pawn. To be completely true, the whole Spartans were pawns for him. He would use these people who I thought we were going to play with as a great faction as personal shields for the rpg. I didn’t think at all that I was his pawn in his mind, even though I told him on the spot to quit it. He never did. This is when he admitted to me that he was better than everyone in the world. He himself stated that he had a superiority complex, and that he truly believed everyone else in the world were pawns for him to move up. The same went for his girlfriend, who was meli at the time, my gf today.

Story wise, we had a fall out in the rpg, and he migrated to a new set of guilds. When he attempted to come back, he expected to walk in and take everything from our guild, because he was once the leader. Why is this so important, or notable? He began to step on his gf. Because she was a girl playing a girl, and girls are weak, he made fun of her. No big deal. Meli’s a big girl. She simply made a mockery of him, and defended our holdings. NG stepped in and helped as well, because it was wrong. SO why did he attempt to fly in and take our stuff? Well, his defense is that he asked it from us, even when it was “his”. It was never his, but the guild’s in its entirety. So he decided he’d walk in and take it because he was one of the earlier members who joined, which means he had a natural power over us newer players. NG didn’t allow it. Case Closed, but this was the first time he showed his disregard for anyone, even his “Best Friend”. Sure, the defense is “it was only in a game. My char is evil, so I have to act it out”. This was a good cop out, but then it went further.

Meli fell out of love with him, and they stayed together anyways. But she told me many times how she was just waiting for him to say its over. Why didn’t she break up with him? Because she felt really sorry for him, because he, like everyone else in this world, had lots of shit going on. He broke up with her, and she literally said ok, and just continued with her daily life.

But in his eyes, she still loved him, and every time we all went out, he said he could feel her vibes, and the uncomforting silence, which I NEVER noticed. Call me blind. Me and Meli had nothing to do Christmas night, and we decided to go ut and watch three movies, which were Lemony Snicket, Meet the Fockers, and Darkness (horrible movie; saw is almost as bad!). In darkness, she grabbed my hand, and from there, we began to see each other in the OPEN. There was no hiding. In fact, I went up to him and told him I was with her. This wasn’t one of those “best friend goes behind back and takes gf” things. It was in plain sight, after he repeatedly showed disgust for her, which is kinda sad.

In the rpg world, he lost his character when someone piloting death scythe hell custom hacked a weapon and fired at an empty colony, where Andres was by himself. It was obviously planned, and fucked up, I agree. I fought for Andres on the forums along with him. The attack didn’t even make sense for god sakes! w/e. Well, Andres named his new character lazarus and kept playing. The rpg came to an anti-climactic and sped up close because of reasons that I do not know. The Spartans, under Meli and my leadership decided to help Lazarus (Andres), but when we logged off and did our own stuff, we got a call around 11 at night from Andres. He was freaking out that my character and meli’s character had just been killed and to log on quickly. Just to make sure there is no suspense, he killed us. How? Well, ng was trying to close the end quickly, and he didn’t wait till the next time I logged on, so Andres asked to kill us, and since ng wouldn’t wait, we were killed. Andres also cheated on stats to secretly cover his weak suit, the Hyperion, and make himself invincible. He was successful, and was able to be indestructible. NG didn’t notice it himself, but that’s fine. NG allowed meli to come back in spirit form, and allowed me to kill Andres in what can only be understood as a grim reaper newtype event. He called us and acted concern to tell us someone killed us, when he himself did it. Why?

Well, there are many different answers. He told “Luis” that he found out that we were secretly going out together, eve though I confronted him about it. To us, he said there was no plot, and he wanted to spice things up. Sad, huh? Yeah I know. I still kept taking him everywhere. It bothered me, but to stop being friends over something as arrogant and worthless as his squabble in an rpg? Nah. To be more specific, he was screwing all his friends online over in the rpg, and they didn’t know. I kept my mouth shut anyways. One day he made fun of one of his friends cuz he found out one of them liked Meli, so he made an ass out of it. Meli was hurt. Andres made fun of a guy who had true feelings for someone, simply because it was over the net, which meant this person was a geek and had no life. This coming from Andres…

But the plot thickens! Sadly it does. Let me digress, and jump back in time. I got a real good job as a tutor, making over 16 dollars an hour. I worked 3 hours a day, and made 250 a week… 15 hours of work weekly. It was a godsend. I held that job for 3 months. For exactly those three months, I took Andres to eat out every day, and sometimes a day skipped, but it was every day. I didn’t give a shit, my friend was hungry, and I had a way to offer him some time away from his house and to eat something he’d actually like. Ever since my days at the ridge, we always had the open system that if I had a dollar and you needed it, you got it. You didn’t owe me a dollar at all. But when the day came when I needed something, maybe a quarter, you were there for me. And I’ll be honest, he was there for me as I was for him. Every since then, the system has stuck. Countless times has friends of mines helped me and have nto asked for anything in return.

Well, one day, meli was working at this logistics company in doral (german run), and she began to feel horrible. It was that time of the month (sorry for broadcasting it, sweety), and she felt she was going to have it worse. I panicked, I couldn’t come up with a single dime. What the hell do I do? So I called on my friend who I could trust, Andres, and he accepted as he always did. He offered about 3 bucks of gas to get up there and back and the rest to buy her something. We made it over there, and at the end of the day, he had spotted us with 12 bucks. To this day, I am thankful of that.

We always had money troubles tho. He always managed to screw me over for money, but fuck it, I saw it as me having money I could help him with. I always disregarded it. Well, jumping ahead some, we went to a local anime shop called Anime Hurricane, where we were just hawking models we might want in the future. But they had this really nice deal. 50% each model gundam model kit, and if you bought 2, they were both 60% off. There was FAZZ, which I wanted (I wanted a second one, because Andres gave me one before hand, and I wanted to do a kit bash… before he had given me a zephyranthes model kit. That was nice of him), and he wanted Launcher Strike I believe. Well, the next day I had to go to a party for one of Meli’s good friends. It just so happens that a few friends of this friend would be there, but it was a party at Dave and Buster’s for this friend specifically. Andres was a friend of a friend, and so he was going to go as well. Well, I had not gotten myself anything with my extra money. I had spent almost ALL of it on my mother. So, he wanted strike and I wanted fazz. Aside from the model kit, I had to buy a ds and Mario kart ds for stephany, meli’s friend, because she had a red ds and I wanted it, and she wanted a blue ds. So with the little left over we had, me and meli portioned off everything, so we could show up at the party, buy the model, the ds and the game and we could continue our lives.

Before hand, he had bought me a street fighter poster which cost 20 dollars flat. I did owe him these 20 tho. I told him I didn’t know when I’d be able to come up with it. A few weeks later, I told him I would like to get him a gift, if I could, and I told him it would be the statue from full metal alchemist of the char he used for new century. He understood that I didn’t know when id be able to get it for him. A few weeks later, he brought up the gift, and asked if I would mind getting him the mg freedom model kit instead. Why not? So I said sure, and I told him I didn’t know when but when I could id get it for him as a gift.

Well, he was short on money one week, and he barely manage do tpay his internet domain bill. The following month, he began to push it. He called and asked when we would pay him back. For what? For the 12 dollars that day when meli almost lost consciousness. AND FOR THE 40 DOLLARS FOR THE MG FREEDOM MODEL KIT. Wit a minute, hold your fucking horses, what?!? Are you really serious? Dead serious? I am busting my ass working 50 hour shifts at a frickin factory to help my mother, and this happens? What I couldn’t understand is that he was charging me for a gift. Since I said I wanted to get it for him, that meant I owed him the price value of the gift! NO! no fucking way, sorry. A gift is a gift. Someone gets you it out of the goodness of their hearts. And I couldn’t just yet. But he was tired of waiting and bought it himself, so he rather wanted my money. That’s not how it works. And the 12 dollars for a girl who was about to lose consciousness? You were with her for months, and you charge for this type of shit, cuz you have debts? Man, I was working my ass off for my family. For what? And he gets a 5 dollar internet bill, a 40 dollar cell bill, and hes got troubles? How could you even do that to yoru friend who has been there for you? Who has driven to coconut grove time and time again, just so you wouldn’t have to walk to the bus or rail? What ever happened to “you need something and I have it, its yours?” What happened to chivalry? A girl is bleeding and is having the worst time of her life, and you can be a man and help your best friend and this woman and take some pain away, and you charge it? You kept receipts on your best friend? Wow…

So, we fell out of friendship… I couldn’t talk to him. I was literally going to do something stupid to someone who I had hung out with for so long. So I decided not to talk to him for a while, while I calmed down. But he kept pushing. Now everyone online was accusing me of being something I wasn’t. I was the bad guy! So I got pissed, and in the end, what I said to him was fair. He wants to charge me for that, then he owes me over 400 dollars. Why? Well I spent 5 dollars a day for 3 months, so 28 days x 3 x 5= 420 dollars. Did I sit there and count it out? NO! he was hungry and I had to give. He never owed me. None of my friends have ever. But hey, maybe he can see how ridiculous he sounds, and how close hes about to turn his best friend into a man who could not look at him. Everyone online said I was being unfair, until they heard my side, and then everything quieted down. He called me, I told him never to pull that shit ever a-fucking-gain, he admitted he was wrong. We became friends again. It wasn’t back to normal, but it was better, a lot better.

Alright back to the more present. We went to Anime Hurricane and we saw those two models we wanted, so we decided that we would buy them together so we could get the 60% each instead of 50%. So, since we had a party to go to the next day, we would go together to buy the models, each with our share of the money.

The next day, before the party we stopped to buy the model kits. SO I made a bull’s eye for FAZZ, and he for Launcher Strike. Im waiting at the counter for him to bring it. Since we would buy it together, we would split the pay at the counter. He then goes and picks up two model figures of shin and rey za burrel. One of them for him the other for his gf. He puts it down on the counter and walks away. Im sitting here, and I figure he’ll give me the money outside, so I pay not for the two models, but for 2 models and 2 resin statues. We walk outside and he tells me that he misunderstood me. I was supposed to buy him Launcher Strike out of the goodness of my heart, since it was 60% off. SO maybe he misunderstood me there, but what about the 2 statues? No answer. I went 30 dollars over my margin, actually I spent 85 more than I was supposed to, but my safety net blanketed out, and I was left at -30. So what do I do? I have to go to the party, I have to buy the ds, and I have to buy the game. So I did them all. That negative thirty dollars, didn’t charge as -30 dollars. My bank is wamu at the time. When you go over, it’s a 30 dollar charge. Because of the way the things were ordered, and their order of payment, I was given a slew of overcharge fees, each 30 dollars worth. And I was then given a huge overdraft fee for the volume of charges. I was about -330 dollars now, with no way of covering it, all because of friend abuse.

What was his excuse to not pay me? He had no money. So not having money that you said you were going to spend, you had me spend it anyways. Could he have said “yo, im short so I cant do it man”. I would have prolly bought him the model. But what about the statues? When did that ever factor in? it never did. Before the party, he paid his cell bill at the mall, and then put money on his card at dave and busters to play. No money, huh?

The next day I confronted him in person, and I told him how he fucked up. He acknowledged he did. I told him never to pull that shit on me ever again. He acknowledged he was wrong. He knew he fucked up, he was man enough to ask for the items, and showed his face. I stayed friends with him. Due to schedule and stuff, I couldn’t take him everywhere how I used to. We didn’t get to hang out as much as in the beginning of hs, but we were still tight friends.

Well, eventually, Andres made his own rpg after NC was no longer. I enjoyed his rpg, but he was lazy, and dint do stuff. He came up with a rather childish system, that worked because it wasn’t too full of shit, and I liked it. But he was very lazy, and his rpg died shortly after. I decided to make my own rpg. I worked really hard, and my rpg died just as fast, but there is some story with this rpg. When I was fundamentally designing it, I attempted to make a game based on physics. When something happened in gundam that was wowing but didn’t exactly work with the rest of the physics, you just had to let it go. Why did these events happen? Because the director or writer wanted to state something. Did it matter if it was perfect? No, it was a statement the writer wanted to instill within the viewer or reader. Well, I tried to make a battle system using established analogies, or correlations if you will. Lets say a gun was depicted to shoot something down many times in the same way, this is truth then. So we then see that the thing shot down was this powerful, and that the gun was this powerful, so they had to equal. I did this for hours, giving armors didn’t strengths, guns different powers etc. In some things, it didn’t work out, and I had ot water down a weapon due to overall power, but generally speaking, it was all based on data from the shows and the games, as well as the manga. The biggest issue was the twin buster rifle of wing zero.

You see, w0’s tbr shot through ships easily. Problem with that is hero was a “great” pilot, so his aim was dead on, and this is more events of the creator showing the tbr’s power. But the beam could shoot through a certain number of enemy weapons. So this became a correlation. I then established the strength of ships in reference to their appearance in the games. In the games they were stronger, and this made it slightly more fun for those who chose to be battleship captains. Well, based on the data recorded, the tbr couldn’t blast through a certain type of ship in one shot. When the player tried it, and missed because he was firing at a seasoned captain and he was a flaming rookie, people cried it wasn’t realistic. Imagine if you will, that you jump in a tank, and you have minor skill, and you go against a person with at least a continued year of experience. Next, imagine, you don’t care to aim, you just fire like a wild idiot. When he does hit, evasive measures were used that actually managed to protect this specific ship from taking the blow. So the ship survives. This is considered fake. But Andres jumps in because ng, who is a seasoned gm, states I am wrong. Andres is mad that his weapon which weighs easily over 300 tons, if I recall correctly, couldn’t fly. Well, in the manga, he did fly, but there is nothing in the data to prove it. This is another instance when the creator attempts to display something, and he cant because of certain physics. I tried to allow it all, but the fact is certain things cant. Funnels, which cant fly, were displayed to fly in a few episodes in zeta. Ng said it was not possible, and Andres agreed. However, when it came to my decision of the exact same issue, I was considered a lower fan who knew nothing. Ive seen more gundam than Andres, and others who claim they know everything. I don’t gloat about it. Its kinda loser-like really. “Im moreof a gundam fan than you!!!” cmon, man, are you serious?

Well, NG hates wing, and I agree with him int hat there were no regard for physics. So because, I forced wing to use physics from the average of all gundam worlds, I was called on as offbase. He ordered me to remove wing entirely from my rpg, because wing sucks anyways. I pretty much felt the same way he did, but my rpg was an all-gundam rpg, not select. And it was my rpg, yet everyone seemed to decide what was going to happen over my head. Well, Andres then dropped the rpg because it wasn’t realistic, and because my rpg did not pay attention to physics. In fact, the whole idea of the rpg was society and physics. Go figure!

Well, he then started to make fun of shit online, and I didn’t ban him because he was trying to state I was wrong. I blocked him because of the nature in which he rebelled. When ng did it, it was fine. Regardless of the he said she said, I did it, simply because about 10 of the members stated it would be best for the forum. He swore he’d never come back, so what harm done?

Well, the next day he starts stating that my physics are off. I asked him to defend his case, because i wanted to correct my site as much as possible. In fact, I corrected the rpg, by adding, changing, etc the whole time it was up. it wasn’t cuz it was wrong, but because I wanted to be more enjoyable. Well his case was about antimatter. His argument was that an antimatter weapon would destroy anything in its way, period, so how could you survive it if it even scraped you? To go on, to fix this issue, he said I should increase the power of antimatter weapons until no ship could withstand it. To be quick, antimatter destroys the matter on contact because they nullify. So 500 antimatter particles destroy 500 matter particles? Simple, eh? So, does 500 antimatte rparticles destroy 10,000,000,000,000 particles in a controlled vaccum, such as space? NO. I had the tough job of deciding its power, because I am not so scientifically inclined to state for certain how powerful even one portion was. SO I gave it the highest power rating within all weapons available. In fact, one dead on blast WOULD destroy any standard battleship. However, because one didn’t get destroyed (this ship in particular had raised construction, armor, and other defenses, and the shot was actually off), I was fake.

So this is why we stopped being friends? He was so much of a jerk in that conversation, and everything before hand, that it was then too much. And that was the kicker. I blocked him. It wasn’t that he was opposing me, because I ASKED HIM to speak his mind because i thought he actually knew what he was talking about, but I blocked him because it boiled up. Between all that drama, there was two more things that he did…

While we were hanging out, he asked many time for me to leave meli at home and for us to go out by ourselves. Why? Because he could feel love vibes from her. Countless times he told me, as he knew I was with her, that it was obvious that she was in love with him. I should not have to explain why this is wrong. Seriously, I should not. But there was something that had nothing to do with me, that as a man I could not handle. One day, while we were in the car, he began to explain that he was fickle. I asked him what he meant, because I didn’t think that word would accommodate a description of himself. He explained that he didnt have any feeling for his girl friend. He was debating whether or not he should leave her, when he realized something. What he realized, in his logic, was that his girl friend was so far away (she lived in the keys) that there was no way she would know what he did in Miami. I began to get serious with him, and I demanded to know what the hell he meant. He began to talk about a few girls who spoke to him, and much worse, a few girls he spoek to with intentions of seeing where it would end. He began to explain he was fickle because he didn’t know which girl to pick. He decided he’d have them all. I then told him off, and he acknowledged what he was saying was wrong, but he still stated that he did not feel anything for his current girl friend. I asked him what he would do. He said he didn’t know if he’d keep her around, but that he was going to continue doing such actions. I told him that if he were going to follow other roads, that he better be a man and break up with his gf first. He said he wouldn’t break up with her, and I thought the conversation ended with the idea of him being faithful. I only pray this is true. That girl, his gf, sounds like a nice girl. Trusting, honest, from his point of view, and others. I never thought he would pursue that. He never had lots of girl friends, and when one finally came around, that truly accepted him, he held secrets from her, and kept her as a pawn, like always. I really hope that he didn’t do what he said he wanted to do. Regardless, to me, he’s guilty. Hes was aspiring to do it. So am I some do gooder? Fuck no! but I love Melissa, and I would NEVER fuck with our relationship. Every day, I find her more attractive, more intelligent, more elegant than the day I looked at her as a woman instead of my close friend’s gf.

A couple of months later, he said whats up to us in Micheals’, while I was searching for some art supplies. We talk very little, and he waited outside for us after purchase. It was obvious he wanted a ride. I don’t know why he walked left, I would have given him that ride. Sure, I blocked him, but im not the one that fucked up. Countless times, he fucked up, and he accepted it, and we stayed friends, but he didn’t that time. Had he admitted what he did, we could have been friends today. So what is it did wrong again? First the stuff on the surface that is actually meaningless: backstabbed me and meli countlessly online, tried to use everyone as a pawn, his superiority complex. Now the stuff within: he demanded something from us that we wanted to give out of the kindness of our hearts, never was it a pay off, he fucked me over with money issues, his countless “meli is in love with me still, even though its obvious shes actually happy with you, and doesn’t think about me at all, and I also shouldn’t be saying this to your face, because im pretty much saying what you have with her is fake”, and that girl who I know nothing of. Its just not right. He was never like that… what happened? He blames it on the world, everyone. But I was there for him that whole goddamn time, and he showed how much he appreciated me then.

So what does this all amount to? Why this deep discourse on an old friendship? Well, it revolves around this livejournal. Yesterday, I was online, bored, so I decided to update my schools I went to. After I had fun recalling some memories with my mom, I decided to see if I could find anyone friend from the past. Found like 2! Lol, that shocked me. So then I decided to look at these different strangers, to see how the populace that came from my school are. I wondered how much we differed in that short time that these groups separated. One person’s lj had the 12 days of Christmas carol, where for each day, a different friend of their lj was accounted for. For instance “3 avaries flocking”. And then I saw prjctzro. I thought “No way…”. There was no way that I would have gotten an lj, but I had, and I thought the same for him. I no longer held any pain or anger towards him. He fucked up, I was more than giving, and I was disrespected. But I’ve become a more tolerant and understanding man, thanks to my many friends and my gf who have taught me along the way. So I opened his lj,a nd it was there, for sure. It existed. So this is the last post I saw. Unedited, except for that it is italized so as to not be confused with my writing.

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The Holy Crap Year in Review

Okay, so you may be wondering, "What the butt, Andres has a LJ?" Yeah, it's been over one year since I last updated this thing. Over this time, a lot of things have changed, people have moved away, come back, and well, just left without ever leaving. That being said, it's time for PrJCtZrO's Year in Review in subjects.

The Case of the Ex:

This is probably the most dramatic thing that has happened. This involves the story of a guy and his high school friend and ex. I was screwed over with money, blamed for a $300+ debt, and the final blow was my criticism of a Twin Buster Rifle. Needless to say, a lot happened. First I lent the two money, never got it back. Forgave the debt for the sake of a friendship. Next another debt from these same two and it was paid back. In the process, I went "$3.31" over what they owed me. Shortly following their shopping spree in blowing a financial aid check, I was quickly blamed for the ENTIRITY of a now $300+ debt they accumulated in their spending with no regard. Somehow, the friendship stayed existant, albeit a much more reduced role. In February, a little RPG came online called "Theatre of War", created by the two of them. Seeing as they were still technically my friends and well, nothing to do, I joined. What I found was quite possibly the worst system that you could possibly use with an online RPG. When Victory 2's Wings of Light can't kill the GM's ship, a Twin Buster Rifle can't kill a ship with a direct-on hit, and a suit that's shown to flown in gravity (with picture evidence mind you) and you don't allow it, something is definetly wrong here. I called them on it, and I was subsequently banned. That was the end of the friendship, as now he wouldn't even regard me as a friend for criticizing his creation. Flash-forward to August and I see the pair, and well its safe to say its over. I dodged them at Yasumicon and luckily they missed my Gundam Model panel. I don't want anything to do with them. In addition, they're complete morons with money. Someone get them Suzie Orman now!

A Bit of Chaos:

Well, following the fallout of Theatre of War, myself and two other dissatisfied people created MSG Chaos Theory. Not to much to report there, but I felt it fit in here. It's still going by the way, unlike the aforementioned Theatre of War.

Work Sucks:

Well, so far this year I've had 5 different jobs. I worked quite a bit this year and I've been relatively comfortable. One job was hell, as they didn't seem to understand what exactly a graphic designer needs to complete projects (like I don't know, content?!). I then moved on to a great job with a professor, loved it but lost it last week due to the budget running out. In any case, I started another job yesterday and am beginning another one on Tuesday. I also work with Candice down at the flea market, so technically I've had 6 jobs. Yeah I'm way too busy.

Bid for Power:

Well, I've taken a lot of initiative on my end to get myself out there. I'm now the Anime Club President, not a big thing, but I run it how it should be. Democracy, bitches! In addition, I'm now also a Senator for the School of Education. So hooray, more power. I just plan on doing a lot of stuff, so I'm once again busy.

My "Other" Activities:

In this past year, I went to a lot of cons. I'm officially sick of them now. The anime fandom is an annoying bunch, and frankly, I don't want to be around it. I still like the stuff, but Christ people, it's a hobby not a life. I made some good friends and Candice is a lot more social now (very good progress, dear ^_^). I don't need to go to a con to enjoy these friends and I can get most, if not all, of that con stuff online. So yeah, no real reason for me to go unless someone pays for me to go.

What is Love?</roxberry>:

Probably the most important thing to happen this year is my relationship with Candice. I honestly don't know what would be going on in my head if it wasn't for her. We reached the one year point last February and we'll make it to our 2 year anniversary on the 2nd. It's great being with her and I'm geniunely happy for once. No, really, I'm happy. We hit our rough parts, but we overcome them and we've come a long way. We've had conversations on racism, fatty-tans, and our agreement that a gundam-themed wedding is an incredibly stupid idea. (Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you if you do that?) In any case, we're happy and we'll continue being happy.

The Return of the Old:

For some reason, old friends that had left have come back so to speak. I'm once again in touch with Ricky and its great to see that he's making good progress in NYC. I really fucked up that one and I'm glad that he forgave me for what I did. It was stupid of me. In continuation of the return phase, Charday also came back. We hung out a couple times during the summer and it was fun reminiscing. However, she decided to head up to FSU (of all places, right?) for college. She's going into the Air Force, so good luck to her on that.

Moving On:

Probably the biggest thing that's happened was the announcment from my dad that we'd have to sell the house since property taxes have gotten so out of hand. It's absolutely ridiculous that we should have to, but that's what things have come to. That's what's gonna happen. Still no idea if or when it's gonna happen, but I'm guessing before the end of next year or I post next time in here, don't know which time is longer.

That's really all that I can think up at the moment, but that's what I'll call part I of the year in review. I'll try and think up some more for part II in 2007.

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Well, there you have it. Everything he said about me and my gf. The whole “case of the ex” bit. It didn’t shock me that we came up. It shocked me that what he said was conveniently rewritten, as if to make him innocent. But now that I look at it, its ok. He told a Terry Shievel joke (cant remember how to spell her name, rest in peace) to be ironic and some people went against him, making a life long grudge. Because they didn’t like his humor about a suffering woman. I’ve come to realize that this is the path he chose. Whats funny is he was the bible thumper before all of this. In the end, he sees himself now as a god. No one is above him. Sad.

Fuck that, forget this passive bullshit, lets speak about the goddamn truth. He was screwed over with money, blamed for a 300+ debt which he accepted fault for and was his fault, and he believes this was over a stupid imaginary gun in an imaginary world. He “lent” us 12 bucks, and he forgave this debt he says. So you forgave melissa’s pains? Nice. I forgave everything he did, no mention of that. Apparently, I incurred another debt with him, which prolly was hat street fighter poster which he bought me a fricking gift. And when I tried to “pay him back”, he went 3.31 over? First off, these two issues were about a month apart, and secondly, its almost 90 dollars more. 3.31=86? Nice. And about that. Did he have to pay it? No! I told him how it went down, and he acknowledged he was wrong, and I PAYED THE DEBT WITHIN TIME BY MYSELF. But apparently, this debt I paid was due to my spending without regard. I spend without regard, yet I am not the one attempting to hit up my best friend who spotted my all the time for 52 bucks, which 40 of it was a fuckign gift I didn’t owe him. The rpg I created, which dealt specifically with ratios of existing actions, didn’t allow for some of the fantastic actions to be done by lower level ensign rookies, because the stats themselves said so! And a gigantic mobile suit that is shown to fly but has no explanation for flying, and also has evidence for its ability not to fly at all. I don’t regard as a friend, nor do I disregard him as one, not because he criticized my creation. Throughout the entire life of the rpg, I had a huge discussion board, where I explained, one for one, why each issue happened they way it did, and hwo this is true in the gundam world. I answered every statement entirely with proof for a whole year, and I stopped being friends because of criticism? No, it had nothing to do with it. The greatest accusers I still talk to whenever I am on. NG’s a badass guy, but he had a lot fo problems with my rpg. Shit happens, doesn’t mean I wont talk to him. Use some logic.

He dodged me at Yasumicon, lol. I went there, and I saw him. But I don’t think I should come speak to him, because I have never done anything wrong. On the contrary, I always defended my opinion and answered with evidence for everything,a nd I always was tolerant. How is it that I am wrong, when I don’t hold grudge against him? I hold grudge against the fact that he does not pick up after himself and does not accept when he fucked up. When he did accept, we stayed friends. When he didn’t, I was not going to tolerate someone who spins bible verses to explain how hes going to get a throwback jersey. God didn’t intend and write a book for Andres to get a throwback jersey when he had no money to get one.

So it continues. He wants nothing to do with me, and I am still the culprit, when I was willing to speak to him regardless. When he showed up at micheals I didn’t walk away, I spoke to him. I did not have a grudge against him, because people have attempted to keep from falling to such a low level, which he obviously and sunken to. Where the fuck is great teacher onizuka? This guy needs a few lessons, especially about the worth and meaning of a friend.

And I have serious money issues? When he doesn’t pay his friends for debts he pulled like weasel in their faces and decides rathe rot pay for points at dave and busters? Not only that, but all the money I have received has gone to my mother, so that we can stay afloat in Miami. Starting in January, me and meli are giving a grand, and then 500 dollars every month to help my father. And that’s not responsible? No, responsibility is leaving yoru father alone, nto helping him with the bills, and living in a dorm when you can get more for living with your father. Responsibility is apparently not helping those in need, those who help you. Wow. I may have my faults, but goddamn it, so does everyone else. I buy something here, so do you. Should we? No, we could sue that to help someone, but we wish for these desires. Btu you do it way more than me. In the past year, ive gotten 6 dvds for myself. Everything else to those who need it more. What about you? You sat there and plotted a way to get your gf to buy you a tv. A girl friend is not a fucking chess piece.

Andres became angry when he found out his dad might have ot sell the house. Why? Nto because his dad was suffering or busting his ass for a house that’s not even his, but because it was his mothers house, and she passed away wrongfully. Btu that doesn’t matter. The land should be his. Forget what it should mean to him, the house should be his. SO if its his, why doesn’t he cease the mortgage from his father, and do it on his own, mister “I get fired every month from my job and that’s why ive had 6 jobs in the past half year.” If he didn’t want to give up the house because it was his mother and he no longer has anything of hers, I would defend him entirely, but he wants the land, because his dad is going to “steal” the money that is rightfully his. Your mother fuckign dies of cancer and all you give a fuckign shit about is the worth you can make out of it if you sue or sell? Nothing int hat house is his fathers. This father is a man, in every sense of the word, watching over his son and protecting his late wife’s belongings without anything for him. A man who has devoted his life to religion after she past away, and Andres cant fuckign go to church with his father, when its his father’s only wish? God damn, I hate church, but if you love your mother so much, why don’t you hide the dollar bills in your eyes with tears?!?

And bro, look around, everyone is stating your site is dead. I hope it continues, cuz its good to see someone flourishing. I have never wished it to fail, that’s more then I can say for you. And im the sinner, the person who threw away the friendship, ha. I still am willing to speak to you today. We both know you fucked up, and I’ll say it to your face. We both know that if offered you everything whenever I could. You’ve taken what I have to offer, and have offered nothing in return. But I did not offer to get something in return. I wish the best for my friends, and they’ve taught me many things. So many times Carlos has given to me without reward just to help me. I needed research books for an essay, he gave me books. They are a month late, and still sitting on my table, making sure that I succeeded with that essay. He wont ask me to pay him for the old books, btu he knows that I never meant to fuck him over. Ive don’t that for you countless times. With that launcher strike, I don’t think you did it on purpose, but what about the two statues? I didn’t buy you wendy’s so youd buy me wendy’’s the next day, so quit the foolishness.

Now, I don’t know if I can talk to him again. With the way he has disgraced our friendship, even in its fall. He’s shown what he thinks of everyone around him. And the sad part is that many know and care not to acknowledge it anyway. But truly, I feel worst for the young lady who knows nothing of it. I wish the best for her, and I wish the best for Andres. I hope you find peace in all your battles, and I hope you flourish with victories time and again. I hope your friendships are not clouded by idiosyncrasies, ignorance, or arrogance; that they may continue onward. As for the young lady, I hope you find happiness, and if you ever do read this, I am sorry.

Bro, I hope it was worth it… I really do.

So, about that story...

Mon, 18 Dec 2006 21:33:48 GMT

I thought I'd elaborate on that story I spoke about the other day. When I was a kid, I enjoyed reading alot, and I wish that would have transferred over to my age now. Nowadays, its not that I dislike reading, but I never find it to be one of my favorite hobbies, but hen someone presents a book to me, I tend to enjoy reading, as if i had never discontinued. This is true when it comes to a few books my darling Meli has introduced me to. Meli, shes something else. She can read through books at such an amazing speed. It takes her maybe 20 minutes to go through a manga. Doesnt sound amazing, yet if you take into account that she stops and analyzes every picture, can tell you what page a certain action is in almost any book she enjoyed, its quite amazing. I have a post college reading level, an almost perfect reading score, save for about 2 points. But what does that say for a girl who rents Stephen King books out and has to return them the same day, unless someone interrupts her with hard work? STEPHEN KING BOOKS! I mean, jeez, thats just unnatural. And if you think she cheated, ha! You can know a book front to back, and she'll speed throught it, and go ahead and try to quiz her and beat her. She'll give you more facts than you picked up in your enjoyment. sick.

Needless to say, she's a great reader, and if she likes a book, it cant be that bad. dont get me wrong, she's liked books before that were total trash in my opinion. but aside from a couple duds a year, she reads interesting books. Which brings me to American Gods, by Neil Gaiman. I was not too familiar with Gaiman's work, except for Sandman, and I only stumbled upon those because legendary Yoshitaka Amano, one of my favorite artists, did the artwork for it. So, Gaiman wasnt a big name for me to be honest. But Meli loves him. So I checked his American Gods out because Meli thought I'd enjoy it, seeing as how i love mythology, and the societies and culture of history. Im not saying this book is for you, but when I began reading it, I enjoyed what little I read of it, and it had been so long since I last read.

Im a great reader. Although Meli likes to laugh at me and act like a giant when she warps every book she touches due to her speed and I barely crack them open, I still have a greater comprehension and understanding than Meli. But, its natural. Theres no way she could be that fast and comprehend a stranger's every thought. If that were so, she coudl understand a writer's thoughts at a faster rate than the writer could develop them. Scary. Meli has great abilities, but I can still whoop her in one category in reading. Ner

Anyways, my favorite book is the Chronicles of Narnia, not because of its religious statements or themes. There is an everchanging beauty in C.S. Lewis' writings. As a child, the world he developed, Narnia, was full of enchantment and wonder. There was a perfect childlike beauty and mysteriousness in those 7 books for me at that development of my life. I also enjoyed The Lord of the Rings, but Tolkien, as amazing as he was, was caught up in the unimportant details. Tolkien seemed to want to enthrall you with a world he developed, down to the forms of grammar that existed. This can be seen as a concrete world of his, where everythign had its own physics. Lewis, however, developed an abstract world, where the details, the nature, the themes, the existence was purely macro in perspective, not to be confused or lost in translation by the minor tags. As a child, this caught my interests way more than Middle Earth, and I did read both of these books, and understood them entirely, at about the age of 6.

As I grew, my perspective of Narnia changed at the same rate that the story did. At different stops in my life, I felt as the characters did, because a story is unchanging once printed. I looked back upon it, as if it were yesterday, and I found the differences to be so great. It could be seen the way a battlefield appear from the strategic elevated position and the troublesome ground. I am not very religious, and thats an argument for later, but the thematics displayed in Narnia could be completely missed. You could thoroughly enjoy the story without looking upon Aslan as Jesus Christ, or your savior of choice. Does it make the story better to know that this is the correct reference? Maybe for those who dismiss works in the fantasy realm as witchery and call upon daydreams of a different world demonic, but for me, it did not capitalize the tale, nor did it take away from it. It simply changed my perspective on things once more, if even slightly.

And it was books like these that did keep my imagination running while i was reading. But Narnia, Middle Earth and others had company. Final Fantasy. the paradoxically titled videogame which changed the world of videogames forever. A game that was to be the final game produced by its creator before filing bankrutcy, so it was dubbed the Final Fantasy. and it blew up, almost leaving Dragon Warrior behind in its public relations. Final Fantasy, Chrono Trigger, Dragon Warrior, Breath of Fire, Mega Man etc... There are so many of these games which are simply labeled as the most unconstructive use of time became so much a part of my being that I just cannot write them off as wastes of time. not applicable, sorry. Final Fantasy stands out the most in my mind for media that kept my dreams rampant with ideas. At about the age of 11, I started writing my story.

I am not a complete failure. I dont want you to get the idea that I'm some two bit fool who scribbles the same idea in the same way for a decade, and still has not written his story yet. The story, or at least its first draft came about when i was 12. and just as i had finished a preliminary on it (never wrote it, more like word of mouth and key points in a story a way an orator would makr notes down as he tells a story), i wanted to add to it? What possibly could I add to it? My new perspective. To be honest, thats whats happened for the first 5 years or so, when i was still infantile in nature.

But lets skip forward to the 10th grade, which was roughly 2002-2003. I still held tightly to a theme I had in mind from childhood, but I had begun finding enjoyment in the ancient history of the greek, the norse, the romans, and the japanese, to name a few. And my friend, Jason Batista, couldnt forget him if i tried, gave my story a kickstart after about 3 years of cardiac arrest. Jason wanted to write a story, but it was very jokeful. I told him that I would incorporate his every idea in my own story, even split the credit between us two down the middle. He would have nothing of it. He found that just taking his story seriously was more than enough homage between friends. And thats how the main character was born.

But aside from that, I developed a core story, with my very own "Wise, older swordsman" side character, and I finished the conceptualization before that class year ended. However, I started to talk about it to many people, and they began to want their characters in it, as well as their plots. I was willing to hear them out, and I did. But it wasn't their ideas that pushed my story forward. I began to study many theories. I suck at science, but the understanding of the themes and ideals come easy to me. And i began to find interest in many different themes in life, religion, physics, the spirit, etc. And so i decided all of my life's interests, works, etc. would go into my story. All my questions, friendships, thoughts, and days would be found in this story. Much more than that, the life i would have loved to live, or rather, the character I would have loved to play, the character i would have loved to be to my friends, my loved ones, to everyone, would be found here.

As i continued to develop these themes I hold so dear, I found a film which I loved as a child. It was named Seven Samurai, and it was the work of Akira Kurosawa. Before I knew who directed it, I gave up on searching for its creator. My favorite director, due ot those circumstances was Scorcese. The Last Temptation of Christ was so much more a film than any other I had seen then. It was completely dismissed by religious sects about a day after its theatrical release because of its religious controversial plot. But the imagery incorporated by Scorcese was amazing. The directing was not flamboyant. In fact, it wa slost behind all of the controversy. But it told a tale much more elegantly then its book in my opinion. The symbolism was amazing. To give you an idea, the opening scene details yoru savior of choice rollign around on the ground in pure pain. Well, that was a story mechanic, but Scorcese placed the camera perfectly showing you more than you could actually see. hes dressed in dark robes, and hes in pain. Nothign more, nothing less. Or in one of the scenes leading up to the end, as Jesus carries the cross bar on his way to his crucifiction. At the beginning, his pathway is open, in the form of the open trails, but as he nears the end, he begins to struggle to make his way. He begisn to walk through cramped paths along with the Roman capturers. What scorcese merely tried to implement was to show how his path narrowed, how close he was comign to the end, and how he approached it. The symbolism is silent, just as it should be, but if you allow yourself ot see these beauties, you can be wowed right off your feet. The beauty of film, or rather, the beauty of life's lessons, themes, understandings, and ironies displayed in the ways they should be: out in the open for one to see if he or she looked hard enough.

Akira Kurosawa was a master of film. Roshomon, Seven Samurai, Sanjuro, Yojimbo, Derzu Uzala, Madadayo, The Bad Sleep Well, Red Beard, Stray Dog, Spider's Web Castle, Ran, Dreams, High and Low, Ikiru... there are more than 60 of them, and yet they are countless as well as priceless. I began to find these gems, and the person i admired most had returned to my memories. And once again, my perspective changed. I saw myself tellign my story from a camera's perspective, because the elegance i learned from these screen greats spoke perfection. I matured even further, and so did my story... back to the drawing board... ha

Before I knew it, my studies of literature expanded, and so did my story, into three central parts. And from there, side stories developed, prehistory developed, the world developed, religions developed, and the individual personality for about 60 different main characters developed. All of that development happened along the period between 2002-2006. and im still moving.

Nowadays, I am adding different details everyday. I rewrite scenes to my likings, and continue to modify the story until Im happy with it. Its been long as arduous, but Im still kicking. For those who stumble across this journal, and ifnd interest in this digression of life, I thank you. For those who want to be a part of it, I'll try my best to instrumentalize your desires, and Im thankful. So, I'll give you this first: My Story is called Crystal Hearts. yeah I know, lame name stfu. The name serves a purpose. This LJ will serve to throw out and develop everything I have in my mind slowly. Ive had th eluck of posting so much already. But in the future, it will be slow, excruciatingly slow. But thats how I work. For a while, i will just be developing and reorganizing the order of what i have not put into place yet, and you do not get to see that, but once everythign is in order, I plan to write a good portion of story everytime i can, kind of like a pseudo webcomic. Web Story!!! SHOCKING! appalling. i know. So whats then until i get there? this can be whatever I make of it. If enough people want to read and add, then it might become a destructive battleground for new ideas between many people. or whatever else it can be become. this will alwas be my lj, so it wont always be Crystal Hearts related. In fact, until i really start writing it, this lj might be a regular lj, lol. either way, if this stays silent, then it becomes my little corner of the world where i write a little every day or so until its done. regardless, this will come up soon enough.

i've written alot today. mainly run-on topics and run-on sentences... no matter... later

I finally got around to this...

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 17:35:16 GMT

hello, i finally managed to make an lj account, and for the past few days, ive been working on it, with help from avarie . To be honest, I never wanted to make one of these simply because, while a lot of my friends were finding it fun and interesting and useful, I never was interested by it. At first, I hated lj because everyone was so gun ho about it, but when I met Avarie, I looked at it with an open mind. Didn't find appealing then either. However, My Space sucks. Even with an open mind, My Space sucks.

I guess what finally got me interested enough to open an lj account were two similar hobbies. Since i was a child, and much hasnt changed since, I've been writing a story. Today, the story spans long continuation, and I have mostly straightened the story, but nothing has been written as of yet. So this lj account was mainly made for me to continue work on it, so that I may showcase it to the many few who are interested in following my story. As for the other reason, a couple of friends have decided to do a controlled rpg per say. We are to write, for creative purposes, an original story collaborating with each other and set in a world heavily inspired by Final Fantasy. This rpg will be done on livejournal so that we all have a swing at role playing. Needless to say, I'm pretty hyped up about both this Final Fantasy inspired RPG as well as my own story.

For those FF fans, all classes and jobs are allowed. One of the stipulations, however, is that none of us could play as a character we like to play as. You see, I am a big fan of the wise, older swordsman. Obviously, I was barred from this choice, so I decided to do something else that would interest me. So, i chose the Dragoon class, which is, for those who are not familiar, a class of lance-wielding warriors whose most notorious move is to jump into the air to perform a lunge. The move is so notorious because the Dragoon is in the air, unseen to the rest of the party for a certain period of time. When he does come down, he or she delivers a devastating lunge attack. Of course, there have been variations of this tactic.

Dragoons do not have a racial appearance, as seen in Final Fantasy 4, where Caine is the hero's best friend and partial antagonist. In Final Fantasy 9, they tend to be categorized as looking like rats, but this is a misunderstanding. I guess you could say the "rat" race, Burmecians, have their noble fighting class, which become known as Dragoons. To be interesting, my character will be a Dragoon, but the Dragoon will be reserved to his race, that of a beast who has evolved to resemble a connection to humes. Fans of FFX may see a familiar creature known as the Ronsos, more specifically Kimahri. Fans of Grandia II will find similarities in Marek.

He will be silent, mainly consisting of grunts and other motions to display his emotions or opinions. He will speak, but the bare minimum you could say. Every word for him is as precious as ammunition in warfare. Like Snake with Bullets.

Anyways, something about the journal. I am a huge fan of Metal Gear. The background is Metal Gear REX from Metal Gear Solid for the Playstation. I did some minor CS2 work so that the colors are to my likings. Original art is Yoji Shinkawa, Art of Metal Gear Solid. Aside from Metal Gear, I am a huge fan of FF, GT, Chrono Cross, Crono Trigger, the Dragon Warriors, and many other games of the older generation. I love new games as well, but I guess you could say i am of the older generation in gaming. Anime fan, Film fan (especially Akira Kurosawa), and many other things. Ill get around to doing a huge profile eventually. As for now, this is enough.